Camp

So, here I am. . .

It's like 9:00 or something. I am sitting next to an area that looks designated for camp fires. Here is a crappy picture of where I am with no relevance to anyone or anything, oh well.

I woke today around 6am, after falling asleep shortly after 4am. I had packed all my things the night before, but out of anxiety of forgetting, I unpacked everything and repacked it just after I woke. Then we (by we I mean my parents and I) drove here. The drive was estimated at about six hours but it ended up only taking around five. I ended up being here an hour early, which being with my parents, became a miniature stroke catalyst. Both of my parents walked around (my dad can't hear very well) talking very loudly/yelling, both of them seemingly oblivious to common courtesy or decency.

I unpacked my things from the car eventually and put them in the cabin. I looked around curiously and ominous knowing this would be the heaven or hell (most likely to be more like a limbo) where I wold remain for the next eight weeks.

Then two people came into the cabin, they would be fellow counselors. . .

They were talking together, clearly with an already structured friendship. I felt awkward and somewhat ignored. They were, afterall, talking about newcomers. I walked into the room and they both looked at me without any real look, and then continued talking. How rude, I thought to myself. Seriously, not that I am important, but wouldn't it be good to be respectful and friendly to another person you will be spending your time and space with?

Oh well, I imagined all the other possible counselors that would show up. At least one of them I would have to instantly have some kind of friendship with. Who knew expecations could be so dangerous. I now feel naive thinking I could just be myself to get along with people at a fucking summer camp.

Obivously, I brought my laptop. But instantly, before everyone had even arrived, people were checking the wi-fi and more interested in the amenities of the new lounge than the people who would be ACTUALLY in it. Perhaps I just expected to come here and build relationships with people out of "teambuilding" exercises and community hardships. Maybe it is because I only got two hours of sleep. Maybe it's because I'm only doing this to run away. But maybe, just maybe, I really am the trulycynically corrupted judgemental egotistical ignoramass that I have been told I am (not by people here). I suppose when I meet new people, it is strange and foreign that I would want to want to really meet them. You know, find out what they like, what they dislike and why, etc.

Mosquitos are killing me. To wrap up. The first day has been shallow and a letdown.