Dear Freshman Year

I wrote this freshman year knowing that I would miss it. But I really had no idea how much I would miss it. I wouldn't change anything I wrote and sadly I predicted the future too well. I should have fought more. . .

From March 2008

The time has struck me with inspiration to write. Write at least something whether or not it is any good or not. I have a paper I need to write. Bryan is just jumping up and down and people are talking but i can't hear what they are saying and now landon is looking over the arm chair to peer into the computer screen to read what im writing and making a weird face. . .

anywho, the lobby is indeed a place of magical experience. and i don't use the phrase magical to try to implement some kind of corny meaning that is greater than to just say that there is something disney-like about the place. I mean it is a microcosm of a realistic utopia. A myriad of people of very different backgrounds, diverse experiences, and many different personalities converging on this strange road. Indeed we were all once strangers to each other.

It is not the place. But it is not the people. It is both, and it is a specific combination of the pair. For many people walk along this path, but few will actually return, and even fewer return with intention to stay. With this too comes desertion. But not in a negative sense. Simply another form of adaptation perhaps. Some people hike a path and can't decide the best place for camp. Some people blaze their own new way. Some just go along this path without reason but feel a calling. Just as i have written this without any real intention and now it has mutated and formed itself with these trail metaphors and adapted into a work of writing with at least some existential purpose.

The lobby has had ups and downs and even a few around the corners. I feel currently that is in a slump, most would agree. Who can explain all the reasons why; i am sure we could all agree there are many. But every member bring something here every time they enter. Sometimes the burdens they bear have unhappy properties. Sometimes they joy they bring radiates for everyone. No one can be blamed for this but certainly, there is an innate happiness that everyone here can share.

The biggest thing now, is simply the memories that have been built. And there are still memories being constructed now. For me, personally, the lobby will forever remain a kind of state of being. In my mind for the rest of my life, whether or not it is an entirely accurate representation, it shall be the apex and shining example of my college life. Everything will be related back to this moment. But the lobby can never be recreated. It will never be the same. It cannot be replicated or duplicated. It cannot be sustained with intention or unnatural motives. I have observed the fascinating aspects of this amazing embodiment. Now i feel we are on the downhill of the curve. Time is moving quickly. The days are full blurrs and the nights are practically non existent.

Everyone, please start moving towards your departing gates and be sure to have your passes and tickets ready. Pretty soon, everyone will have to leave the lobby and board the entrance gate. I shall write once more when it is really time to leave. For good. Remember this exact moment. This split second in time in which dawning realization slaps you in the face. No, not that split second. This one. The one you wish wasn't over in four weeks. The one you wish taking for granted while you have a regret that time has passed. Remember this second. The second you leave. Maybe it will be may 1st, perhaps may 2nd, or even may 3rd. But you will have all of your things packed. And you will walk past the lobby and something will feel different. Maybe better, maybe worse. But a rift will be made. And this rift will widen throughout the summer. Some may never return. Some have already left. One will be the very last to leave. But for everyone you will think back to the moment in which you read this and had a memory so good you were tempted to smile. It is this split second you must always remember, forever. It will be gone soon, its flying away with you.

Tempus fugit. Optimus dies. Prima fugit.