This My Friends, Is The End

To whom it may concern,

I am sitting in the lounge of J-wing in the enclave of the honors hall here at my dorm. I have removed every last thing that was in my dorm room, leaving it with the eight bare walls and no resemblance of anything my own. The building is currently emptying out too, the same kind of emptying of my room, on a larger scale. Soon it will just be a building and everything about it that ever made it special or memorable will be gone. The point of course, is that the people are the common denominator of significance. To be totally fair and honest, I am leaving this place for much longer than just the summer, because of the people. Not because the people here at lacking in anything, but because I suppose I'm on a quest to regain a fraction of the wonder and awe that was my freshman year at BG. I am always struck by the lack of ceremoniousness about all of this. Everything happens with a terrific lacking in cliches. I want to let myself cry as I see people, who came to mean so much in so little time, pass me by with their belongings for the summer hiatus. The truth is that I didn't come here for friends. When the real reason I came here changed, I was still not here for the people. But slowly because of how wonderful most everyone was, it became OK to let my resentment for this place's attachment to my scnenario slip and for me to enjoy the "honorable" company around. But in doing this I have been left with only resentment for my own weakness and actions. There were far too many moments when I acted outside of the person I am. There were far too many instances where I had chances for redemption but only dug deeper into portraying a facade that I am not. So I suppose my regret is that I gave back so very little to the community that meant so much. I feel bad that the people who are here don't know me like I know myself. It is in this too that I realize it's not entirely my fault that only a sliver of who I am shown through my worried skies.
The main thing here I suppose in this dumb assessment is that this was a substantially impactful section of my life thus far and I cannot express with deeper appreciation that the people I was with for this time were the honors residents of this dorm. Some of you were especially important to me, whether or not I expressed it to you (definitely not). But most of you will be remembered for a long while regardless of favortisms :). I hope to come back and visit. I hope to keep in touch. I hope that one day, whenever it is needed, that I can be such a support for each of you as this entire community has been for me. I have taken much and given little back and for that I am sorry.
Good bye to some and See you later to others, you will all be in my heart and on my mind.

Thank you,

-Fife