Yay Easter!

Easter marks the culmination of spring. You've got this whole good weather thing (hopefully) going on. Then you've got some pretty impressive colors blooming from every plant worth imagining. Don't forget a bunch of animals are out of hibernation now, soaking up the sun and wreaking havoc and just generally being hardcore (especially all those easter bunnies in your garden). Finally, you've got this whole "new life" mantra "sprouting" (see what I did there?) out with Jesus' resurrection and what not.

I know that the intro up there sounded like I'm a big advocate of spring, but I have yet to tell you anything about summer, fall, or winter. . . so don't go telling everything that I'm pro-spring just yet.

Don't let me deceive you! In all actuality I could not give a damn what time of the year it is because I've still got pieces of my own heart shattered into dust and smithereens strewn all over the place. Lately, I've been giving advice to people about how to carry on with being dumped or being the dumpee. I like to say, "Don't worry in the future it will all be easier," or this winner, "You will be able to say it's OK."

The truth, however, is that I need my own advice as I am far from OK. I miss her. I don't miss the conversations, the experiences, or plans; independently and exclusively. I don't even miss the memories. I miss her; the personality, charisma, ideas, and habits that made up her person. I miss her eyes and her smile. She carried infinite beauty with her wherever she went, leaving it along the way, to brighten my world and lighten my face.

Tell me that four months is too soon! Please, convince me that within the foreseeable future it will not be this way. Bribe me into thinking the future will shake me of this phase. Whatever it takes you may even lie to me. Life goes on, I know this, obviously it has. But the quality of my life feels as if it has diminished with the absence of this love. Sure, call me incredulous, but before you give me one of those garbage life-long-wisdom-lines about "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" and "it is better to have loved and lost than not love at all" or "there's a lot of fish in the sea" -Are you alone? Do you feel abandoned?

If yes, don't believe that crap. If no, exactly, see how easy it is to say that to someone else? Consider this: almost everyone at some point will experience this. We only accept it to move on and continue living. Human bullshit is the most impressive survival tool. In science, it is called the 'Placebo Effect.'

So here is the life lesson I'm going with for now: I was in love. I got dumped. It sucks A LOT. Who knows what will happen.

So cheers to Easter, new beginnings, and false hopes!